I wrote this funny short for a contest post on litrpgforum.com. I'm too proud of it not to share with a wider audience though. I hope ya'll get as much of a kick out of it as I did.
This story is inspired by a picture (which I cannot find now. Argh.) But I had to write a story using the things seen. Words like: Canopy bed. Long sword. Gladius. Snake (or snake belt). Shield w/ Raven. Crown. Two knights mounted w/ polearms. A chimera. Castle. A princess (or maybe a queen.
Once Upon a Time...
I was a normal boy, doing normal boy things. Like logging 600 hours worth of grinding on the newly released Cavalry Saga this summer while never seeing the sun. It was glorious.
One thing led to another and now I was IN Cavalry Saga, staring down the dreaded Chimera Knight --real name unknown. Does he go by Sir Chimera?--in a joust to the death over the fate of the kingdom.
Just looking across the list at this guy was poop-inducing. He had a belt made from a living obsidian snake for crying out loud. His lance was made of black iron from the forgotten ages and stained crimson from endless amounts of blood. I feared that mine would probably be joining the collection soon.
Oh and legend had it that he could transform into some kind of wolf-dragon-snake thing. So knocking him off his horse was just the start. Then I bet it was going to be fire-breathing monster time. Joy.
The good news at least was that I had survived so far to reach the exalted level of 50 and I wore astounding armor made from mithril no less. I had been crowned, literally and figuratively, with the title of "King of Burdens." Yeah, it wasn't the best title, cursed really, but it came with +1000 stamina. If that sounds excessive to you, that's cause it is.
But all that stamina doesn't kill things and it takes for forever to heal. It's kinda a lame super-power to be honest. But it's mine and I've made it work by being good at taking a beating, and carrying heavy things long distances, so stop laughing. Survival in Cavarly Saga isn't for the lazy. Please save your mockery for the bad news.
One would think that "the bad news" is that we're fighting this joust to the death in the Mr. Chimera-- sorry-- Sir Chimera's own castle.
That's not the bad news. What's really going to screw the whole kingdom over isn't how badly the odds are stacked against me stat-wise. Nor is it the groan-worthy sleeping beauty plot-line I'm trying, and will likely be failing, to save the kingdom from.
Nope. The bad news is that I am a level 50, bad-ass, kick-ass, geared up... horse.
And my rider is a blithering idiot who still has no idea what's going on.
Wish us luck!